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Writer's pictureSammie Stewart

Two Years Later

Updated: Sep 19, 2019

Two years. Two terrible years. Whoever said time heals lied, because as time has gone on, it's only gotten worse.


When you first passed away, I was devastated. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. It didn't feel fair. It didn't feel real. I didn't want it to be real.


About a week after you passed, our favorite artist, Hoodie Allen, released an album in "The Hype." If it wasn't for this album, I don't think I would've made it through your death. I don't think I would've been able to keep pushing on. But after that album came out, I remembered I still had so much I wanted to do in life.


Back in April, I got confirmation that one of these things would officially be happening. I didn't think I'd be able to say this before I graduated but...I got an interview with Hoodie. Let me repeat that, I got an interview with the man that saved my life. The man that got me through your death. The man that when I met him for the first time, I broke down. Yeah, THAT Hoodie Allen. We've worked so hard for this, mom. After six years, we're finally doing it.


On top of all that, I also got guest list for his Pittsburgh show. Me, getting guest list. I'm officially a journalist. Aren't you proud?


Ever since you've left this Earth, everything I do, I do for you. In fact, if it wasn't for you, I probably still wouldn't even be pursuing music journalism. You pushed me to keep going. This interview isn't just for me, it's for both of us.


Thank you for being the best mom a girl could ask for. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for being kind. Thank you for taking interest in my dreams and pushing me to keep moving forward. Thank you for being you.


I miss you. I love you. I'm happy I got to know you for 20 years of my life. I can't wait to see you again someday.




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